DAY 4

Now, I've been doing a lot of thinking the last few days. My fiance and I were not together when he went to prison. So, it's been a while since we were together. I have no reservations about being with him or marrying him. My concern is that when we start having contact visits that it will be harder on us. I believe that it will make us want to be together more. I guess then I will know what all the others out there that have a husband, bf/gf, or fiance in prison are dealing with. Right now the waiting to see him is not so hard. It will be like taking a relationship really slowly. At least in the physical aspect. It's been very enlightening for me, since I have had to rely only on the mental and spritual aspects of our relationship for the past year or so. There has been much less clouding of my judgement, and since he is sober I think the same goes for him. I am ready though, so let's do it.

Day 3

Well, I went for another visit this past weekend. It was last minute, because no one tells me they are not going when they are supposed to go. If they would let me know ahead of time I would gladly take their place. It was Father's Day, so I took our daughter by myself which is always difficult. She's 2 and can't sit still. The visit went as well as it could with all the circumstances. I had been thinking we would get married in December or something like that, and now he says he wants to go ahead and do it as soon as possible. Ok, let me get to planning. I have research to finish on it, and a ton of things going on. Now, I am even considering a career change...someone help me!!!! I am horrible at making lists and sticking to them, and I am terribly disorganized. Not to mention I am unemployed. Once again I will figure it out.

Day 2

Well, I went for a visit Saturday. This was with no one else, which my fiance had decided that once a month I need to do. And he is right we need to talk alone. I usually visit every other week. Our daughter visits as often as possible. I shoot to get her there three weeks out of the month. She goes with me, and someone in his family or with members of his family without me. It works out rather nicely. It was not always like that in the beginning. Dealing with the mom-in-law to be is not always easy. We have 2 different ways of thinking, and I will leave it at that. He fixed whatever the problem was though, that's enough for me.

Back to the visit...I shared with my fiance what I had learned, and he was a little shocked at some of the info. I gave him. Of course there is always someone somewhere that thinks he or she knows it all, and evidently he had been given some bogus information. Kids, what can anyone say? Of course he knew that the kid was full of it from the get go. He just wanted written proof. Back to the visit...it was one of the best we have had yet. However, I think since we have a child together and we are together, we should get contact visits. But of course in the conservative state of Texas we don't. It is possible to get them, but I'm not sure what all needs to be done. That's another topic for discussion. It is not bothering me too much yet that we do not have them. All things happen in God's time. I truly believe this with all of my heart. We are trying to get things out in the open and deal with issues that are very critical to our situation and relationship. And I don't want anyone's judgment to be clouded for any reason. So, we will wait until we set a date and are married to have the contact visits. So, not being married and not having contact visits, I am still willing to get a petition started for conjugal visits in Texas prisons.

Is anyone on board with this issue? Does anyone have information and facts about conjugal visits in other states?

Day 1

I am the fiance of a prisoner in the Texas Department of Criminal Justice. We have a two year old, whom we both love dearly. My fiance has been incarcerated for just over a year and has a 30 year sentence of which he will have to serve half before he is eligible for parole. There has been nothing typical ever in our relationship, but it seems to just work no matter what happens. I am hoping to reach people who just need to talk, vent and care about someone who may be in a similar situation. There are so many aspects that one must deal with when their spouse, bf or fiance is in prison. Most of the dynamics are similar, but there are differences and none of it is easy, as we all know.

I want to accomplish so much for our family. We plan to get married while he is incarcerated, which will not be easy, but we believe this is what is best for our family. Also, for more reasons than anyone on the outside could possibly know, we have talked about conjugal visits. I did not realize until I began researching the topic that the states that have conjugal visits, do not have them just for the inmates to have sex. These visits in some cases are 2-3 days in length. Family can come and spend time with the inmate and interact with him or her as if he or she is on the outside. Well, at least somewhat like he or she is on the outside considering the circumstances. This allows families to bond and retain closeness that otherwise would be lost. It also allows young children to know parents in a way they may not have the opportunity to know that parent. There are many other things that I have learned just through the little research I have done. That I will talk about in time. One more thing...I would like to start a petition for conjugal visits in the state of Texas. So yes, I am looking for people the help on this.

Anyone out there have any ideas or want support? Please comment.